(sigh) as expected the pins broke when I tried to straighten them.
[The pins were really smashed down and almost twisted together somehow]
[All broke when bending them back]
Games do boot now, but without sound. So a lateral improvement (had sound but no picture before).
At this point I have three non-working AES consoles. This one, one with a bad NEO-B1 (corroded pins and pads) and a beat up Neotropolis modified unit with a weird sound problem (sound files are not loading, with one sample being used for all sound effects. Might be a Yamaha chip problem).
I have some of the Chinese after market 100 pin slots on order (they were 10 bucks, so why not). Thinking I'll try removing the NEO-B1 and seeing if I can fix that unit, failing that it becomes the donor board and I can pull the 100 pin connectors from it, while at the same time I'll socket and replace the Yamaha YM2610 on the other (I have a replacement chip and even an appropriate socket, I just never got around to trying it because of how much of a pain those are to remove). Might also remove some of the Neotropolis mods.
Edit: tried some other carts, and I get sound with some... picture seems worse than it was before, jumping around a bit. Which makes some sense given the reduction in ground pins.
Also found these:
https://www.aliexpress.us/item/2255799982787679.html right pitch (2.54mm) with a 100 pin variant and seems higher quality, but
not sure I want to commit ~75 USD for a pair without confirming they're a good fit. looks like the listed price is for five not one, so not too bad a price all things considered.